Emotional Empathy as a Master

It constantly amazes me how many men use D/s and M/s as an excuse to be emotionally inaccessible. They seem to believe that having a slave means that they don't have to deal with emotions. If they don't like them then the slave is not supposed to have them. They keep them selves emotionally distant from their slaves and refuse to help their slave to deal with the emotions that they have. It's as if, when a person becomes a slave, their emotional health and make-up no longer matter or have import. For some reason, they continue to hold this belief and then are always amazed that they can't find a good slave that will stay with them. I compare this to having a beautiful car but refusing to fuel it and then being upset that you can't drive it anywhere.

People have emotions and if you want to have a person as a slave, you need to accept the emotions that come with them. This doesn't mean that you let them run rampant and ruin your life. The trick is to train the slave how to deal with them. It is the Masters responsibility to guide the slave on their exploration and discovery of self. Showing them how to flourish within the boundaries of who they are is what being a Master is all about. In the Merriam-Webster dictionary the first definition of Master is about being a teacher or leader. Yes a Master is someone that controls workers or slaves but there is much more than that. I try not to judge others that don't see their responsibility as a Master in the same light as I do but that doesn't mean that I don't see the repercussions. Trying to have a relationship devoid of emotional responsibility is ALWAYS damaging. You can tell this by the pain involved.

If a person wants to control someone else, the first thing that they need to be able to do is to control themselves. Denying that you are doing or feeling something is not control. When an ostrich sticks it's head in the sand it is not controlling the lion that is attacking it. Denying your emotions is a form of sticking your head in the sand. You have them. Acknowledge them and then you can decide whether or not they benefit you. If they are of benefit, try to find ways to enhance and nurture them. If they are detrimental to you, try to find ways to change them and make them into something that is beneficial. Once you can do this for yourself, you will be able to help a slave take control of their emotions and make your lives what you want them to be.

There is nothing wrong with having emotions. Doms and Master need to take a good look at their own so that the emotions aren't ruling them. If the mind and logic is ruling a Master than they are capable of guiding their relationships in the way that they choose. If they let their emotions rule them the relationship will lead to abuse and pain. As a Dominant, it is incredibly important to see, understand, and empathize with your emotions as well as your slaves. Only through accepting them for what they are can you make them have worth and value to you.